HellBill » Hell Bill Area: » Pay Bill/ Pay Bills » i told him to stop mooching and he walked out...

  #1 (permalink)
: i need some advice from married ppl who have good insight about good relationships.

i have been dating this guy for about two months...were both past 30.... money is extremely tight for me right now to the point i can hardly buy food or pay my bills.

he has been spending over 5 nights a week at my house and eating what measely dinners i can come up with. he also does a ton of laundry at my house sometimes twice a week. at first he was bringing his own soap and then he started using mine. he showed up last night with another HUGE basket of laundry and NO SOAP....i asked him where his soap was and he asked if he could use mine.

my water bill was really high and so i had the talk with him .

i told him that i dont expect him to pay my bills because he doesnt live with me but that i cant afford to feed him dinner or let him do his laundry here. he said that he has helped me out by one time spending 30 dollars on grocery and sometimes he'll pay 3-7 dollars for jack in the box tacos.

i will give him credit for giving me rides to doctors apts and stuff sometimes because i dont have my license right now....but damn.

what really got me was that he KNEW how little food i had and helped himself to it anyways without EVER replacing it. .....only promises of going to 'help me out'....

well...when i had the talk with him last night he said that i was calling him lazy, he became pissed and told me that he wont spend the night at my house anymore, do his laundry here, and he walked out the door.

i feel guilty in a way because thats a hard talk to have with someone but basically i told him that just because he's my boyfriend doesnt mean he can take advantage of me. if i was at a friends house 6 nights a week doing laundry and eating dinner....i would expect the same discussion.

so i think he dumped me over this. i wish money wasnt such an issue for me right now but it is.

now he's with-holding communication, time and affection from me.

he said "wherever i go i have to pay".....like i told him..i dont expect him to pay my bills....i expect him not to add to my expenses.

he lives with a relative and pays half of all bills there and he works full time.

was i being over the top rude in what i said to him?

also....he denied my relationship request on fb even though he was spending so much time here...that is when i started to think that he was using me.

it just hurts that he acted completely oblivious to my needs and now he's gone and not answering my texts or calls.

what would you do from this point on if anything?

lolol@finster!...i needed a good laugh thank you...and a big thnks to everyone for the great insight..i appreciate it and i will let his ass walk.
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  #2 (permalink)
: LET THAT BOY GO. Look sweety, I was in your position before when I was in college, and it only gets worse. No real man would ever allow his woman to go without. LEAVE THAT BOY ALONE. You said nothing wrong, and him walking out and reacting how he did is just a control method, TRUST ME.
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  #3 (permalink)
: Good riddens!!

Now go find yourself a real man.
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  #4 (permalink)
: I believe a guy at that age should have his life together a little better then that. I'm sure you can find a much better guy then that because he's clearly there to abuse the fact that you're his girlfriend.
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  #5 (permalink)
: You were right. That sort of behavior does not improve with time, it escalates. If he has no concern at this time for your financial situation, I wouldn't expect him to suddenly become lavish and/or generous. If he makes contact, you may want to ignore it.
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  #6 (permalink)
: if you really want him back offer some back door love and some tide....
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  #7 (permalink)
: ahh... He's testing you by walking away... If you call him back it will get worse before it gets better.. if you don't call him, he'll come begging to come back. then you call the shots.
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  #8 (permalink)
: Dump him.
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  #9 (permalink)
: If hes using you for food and laundry he should pitch in. If he cant respect you for you and what you like (bc after all it is your house) LET HIM GO! Find yourself a REAL MAN that respects you, loves you, supports you, and helps you in your journey.
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  #10 (permalink)
: You've been dating 2 months and he thinks he has the right to use your place for whatever he wants??? If he's paying rent at a relatives place, then that is where he should be eating and doing laundry...you two should be DATING (going out and doing things), not playing "house" at your place...

He showed you that he's a mooch, so you should feel lucky he didn't waste anymore of your time...forget about him and move on...times are tough for a lot of people, but that doesn't make it okay for someone to take advantage of another person...MAYBE after dating many months, an occasional load of laundry wouldn't be an issue, but 2 months in and he's already making it a regular habit??? Pppphhhttt....kick him to the curb...
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