HellBill » Hell Bill Area: » Pay Bill/ Pay Bills » I can't stand my dads girlfriend

  #1 (permalink)
: My mum and dad split up last year because my dad had an affair and now I can't stand being around his girlfriend? It seems like he never spends time with us anymore, and she also gets a lot of free stuff out of him (she doesn't pay bills towards the house) and stuff like that...
She also tries too hard for me to like her and I hate it! It stops me from doing stuff with my dad..
Anyone have any advice to what I should do?

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  #2 (permalink)
: Have sex with her.
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  #3 (permalink)
: Talk about it
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  #4 (permalink)
: Avoid her.
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  #5 (permalink)
: Ok you want to be treated good/right? Then sit down with your dad and have a talk like an adult. Do NOT come out and say you hate his GF, etc. What you need to be doing is explaining YOUR feelings about not having one on one time with your father and how sad you feel about it and hope that something can be arranged so you do have that special time.

And try looking for GOOD things in the gf, not the bad - you will be a lot better off.............keep in mind this gf could become your step mom and the sooner you realize that and start working towards a better relationship, the better off you and the family will be!

Believe me its very hard being a step mom (I am one to my husband's 3 boys) - they really don't like me much but I still treat them like they are my sons. They are older now and 2 of them are a lot better with me then they were 10 yrs ago! The other one refuses to talk to his own father and me now - we don't know why.
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  #6 (permalink)
: Tell your dad you want to spend more time with him and less time with his friends...tell him you miss your one on one time together and see if that helps.
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  #7 (permalink)
: How old are you? Is the new girlfriend the one he had the affair with?

I think you are very hurt and very angry at your father. You feel loyal to your mother and so you lash out at the girlfriend because you know that is safe.....if you are angry at your father then you would lose that relationship for good. In your mind the only thing you have any control over right now is this girl friend. The feelings you feel seem very normal to me. You are so angry that your father broke his vow and your trust and it appears he went on to this new life unscathed yet your mom is the one that suffers the most for all he chose to do which ultimately causes you even more pain. You feel insecure in his love and commitment to you since he did this without regard to your feelings.

Have you thought about inviting your father to family counseling? Sometimes it helps to have a third party there to supervise and ensure everyone gets to talk without shouting or being unfair. It can help mend these feelings of anger and hurt.
YOu dont say if you have talked ot your parents about this? Does your mother support you in your feelings? does she encourage you to dislike the girlfriend? Does your father speak negatively of your mother? There is just so many questions to understand your situation....
but no matter what, you are entitled to your feelings. Im sorry you have this to deal with. Its unfair and sad. In time you will find a way to heal your heart and move on. Life will be better when you can choose your path an dfind love. Peace be with you.
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