HellBill » Hell Bill Area: » Help With Bills » How to get my mother to grow up and stop mooching off me?!?

  #1 ()
: In march I got my own apartment, a very tiny studio. I'm 21, in school, I work two jobs and barely break even after paying my bills. I lived here not even 2 months when mother came to live with me in my ONE ROOM APARTMENT. She pays no rent or bills, eats my food, doesn't do any dishes and is keeping her cat here. She works about 15 hours a week at an amusement park (only seasonal). In the last week she had 2 full time jobs through an agency and quit them both(she has quit nearly every job shes had my entire life, causing me to grow up in poverty). She is lazy and childish. Complains she has no money yet parties all weekend and gets tattoos. I don't know how to get her out because I would be kicking her out on the street since she is too proud to live with her mom. But I cant take it (or afford it) anymore. There is no more public housing where I live anymore, they canceled the program. Any suggestions? How do I make her grow up, im tired of being her parent!

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  #2 ()
: Sounds like something a teenager would do when still at home and living with their parents.

Now you know how it feels having to pay for everything and getting nothing in return.
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  #3 ()
: If she parties every weekend, from what you are saying she is addicted to drugs or booze. If so, do an intervention on her and have her committed to a detox program. After she spins dry she can be shipped off to a halfway house for women. Call your local AA or NA central office to learn where to get this help. There are indigent beds for poor people at some of these places.

While she is drying out, change the locks on your apartment and box up her things. She needs tough love and you need to quit caving in to her. That only enables her to be dependent on you. When she gets knocked on her butt, she may have a clear moment and see how sick she is.
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  #4 ()
: Give her 2 weeks notice to leave and explain she is ruining your life...
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  #5 ()
: I agree with the intervention suggestion, if she drinks often or does drugs (you might not even realize if she is doing drugs, it's not always so obvious). Are you her only child, by the way? If not asking your siblings for help too. If she won't get any sort of help for herself, tell her she has to live with her mom. You better believe she would "forget" how proud she was if she knew it came down to living on the streets or her mom's house. Just tell her that's a bs excuse not to go there. You're barely supporting yourself- you can't support her and she's not doing anything to help you. Tell her that. Ask her WHY should you help her when SHE won't help you?! How is that fair?! What can she say to that, really. Say if she's not willing to help you, you're not going to continue to help her. You're tired of being taken advantage of.
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