HellBill » Bills Categories: » Energy Bill » What to do about MIL situation?

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  #1 (permalink)
: So my husband's parents have been living in my husband's house long before husband and I got married. They don't work and they also have their names on the title even though they never paid any mortgage bills except maybe the first 5 years, but for over 25 years my husband paid all the bills. Anyhow, I am 26 and got married 3 years ago but have only now been living with my husband and his family for an extended period (I am a student and was at an out of state college before now). Anyhow, my mother in law is driving me crazy. I am studying for a major test for over 10 hours a day and she just makes the living environment so stressful. Just yesterday, I forgot to take the lint out of they dryer's lint filter and she took it out and saved the lint and waited all day until I came downstairs to show me the lint and talked to me condescendingly. At first I stayed quiet and my husband nicely told her that it's ok we just forgot and we will try our best to remember and then an hour later I decided to let her know that next time tell me things directly instead of waiting all day and saving evidence but she still acted like we are so wrong. I don't have time or energy to have tension over small things, why is she doing this? I've also gained 15 lbs. and she even patted my stomach the one rare time I ever ate her food. Another time we were all going to go somewhere and I was in a hurry and had minor wrinkles on my shirt and she made me feel bad about that in the car saying it looks bad

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  #2 (permalink)
: Living in same house with MIL= Certain death to your marriage or homicide.
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more..
  #3 (permalink)
: It is time to make plans with your husband to move out and get your own place. Even if you can't move, Right Now, just talking about it will set everything in motion to get you and your husband up and out of their home. Speak with your husband, pull out a calendar, set a date, plan a budget, save up the money, and embrace your new path. KNOW that it will happen, embrace a positive attitude (I know this is hard when your MIL treats you horribly), and do whatever you need to do to bring yourself to a tranquil state each day. Meditation, praying, a walk outdoors, working out, a hot bath - find something that works for you.

BTW, your MIL's behavior is about her, not about you. She sounds like she is jealous (for whatever reason) and is taking her problems out on you. Do not take her jabs personally, allow them to roll off your back with ease - this takes practice and sometimes it will be extremely hard to do so. However, you deserve peace and there is no reason to take on her baggage. Maybe, look at this as a lesson/experience to learn how to deal with difficult people for a career assignment you will have in the future. Turn this around, take control (Because you are in control), and choose how you will RESPOND - not how you will react. You have the power over your own life in any situation, even those that seem hopeless.

Good luck, God Bless, everything will turn out for you.
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  #4 (permalink)
: It is time to discuss the living arrangements with your husband. He needs to know the current arrangement is not going to work for much longer. Either the parents go or eventually, you will go. You may as well have him decide now, or move on and find a person who puts you first.
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  #5 (permalink)
: You knew what you were getting yourself into when you married this guy and agreed to move into his parents house.
You should have had the "we need to find our own place" discussion and actually did it before you married him and agreed to move into the house his parents own.
Fact is regardless who pays the mortgage, his parents' names are on the deed. That means they are the rightful owners, not your husband!
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  #6 (permalink)
: Well it doesn't sound like anything too bad, but I can see where you might take things a little bit to heart.

But I always say people do it for a reaction. So don't give her one.

If she says something like that, don't reply at all. Just walk away.

Remember YOU are the new one to the house that they've run for the last 25 years. You are going to have to figure out a way to live in it.
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