HellBill » Hell Bill Area: » Bill Collectors » Redo wedding for my 1st year anniversary... I do it with out seeming tacky

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  #1 (permalink)
: My wedding was a wreck! We forgot the music to start off, forgot the rings, Hardly any of my wedding stuff was set up! You name it, it most likely went wrong.:( Well...To top off everything after I walked down the Isle I thought to myself okay I am here with him thats all that matters right? After his Mother begged me to let her friend marry us...we didn't even say vows to each other!:( So disappointing to me. All we said was I do once and that was my whole wedding...My dream wedding was crushed! But I want to kind of have a "redo Wedding!" I don't want ppl to bring gifts or anything. I just want them to come celebrate our love with us. Just inviting family and close friends. Do not wanna spend a whole lot though. Any Ideas?
It wasnt religious. :( and thats what I wanted I wish his mom was honest about her friend...That is the only thing I am unhappy with! Just the vows I guess we can just renew our vows in about 10 years!:)

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  #2 (permalink)
: I would do a formal wedding "brunch" with centerpieces and everything. That way you can talk about your hubby and he can make a toast to you. . .etc. Not sure if that was helpful. There are soooo many routes you could go! This is just one that isn't that expensive!
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more..
  #3 (permalink)
: Redo weddings ARE tacky. I'm really sorry your wedding was such a disaster, but now you are married, and weddings are for people who are not married yet. It was a one-in-a-lifetime event. You should have taken it a little more seriously.
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  #4 (permalink)
: You don't. Things may have gone badly with the music, the rings, the recitation of vows, but these are the icing, not the cake. Bride and groom became husband and wife, and that was the cake, that is what made the occasion your wedding. It would be insulting to everyone who takes marriage seriously if husband and wife were to disregard the cake of being married and instead focus on the icing of nifty costumes, pageantry, and refreshments.

I suggest that you instead have a gala anniversary party with ballroom, catered meal, fancy cake, live music, hired limo, and a smashing new gown for you -- but not a wedding gown. This isn't a wedding or a "wedding redo" (gag) or a wedding anything. It's an anniversary party. Invitations should make no mention of vows or weddings, or it will indeed appear that your purpose is to collect gifts rather than to provide a delightful celebration for your friends and family.

Sometime during the party, perhaps when everyone is seated waiting for dinner to be served, the bandleader announces that you two will re-affirm your vows. This is a surprise to your guests.

Either standing at your places at the head table or posing at some other spot, you re-affirm, either with or without guidance (as in "repeat after me") from some third person. It's over in 5-10 minutes and dinner is served, the anniversary party continues.
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  #5 (permalink)
: Very difficult to have a redo wedding when you're already husband and wife. I am sorry your wedding wasn't planned better, though, and that you didn't communicate your wishes to your officiant. Having said that, you could do a vow renewal in your situation. It would remedy the lack of saying vows to one another. and you could write your own clever ones, having experienced a year of marriage. You can play one special song during the quick ceremony to remedy the music thing, and that's that. You wouldn't have a wedding party, no one's giving you away, etc. It's pretty simple.

After that you can have most any party you wish, from a barbecue to cake and punch, just so you thank your guests for coming and get to spend some time with them.

**I like how Resist Wedding Industry Lies suggests you spend a lot of money you don't have on a gala anniversary party.
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  #6 (permalink)
: This is ridiculous. You are married. Who cares how you got there?

It's only been a year... people are not going to want to come to this.
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  #7 (permalink)
: Reading this, it makes it seem like you care way more about having your "dream wedding" than you care about having a marriage. Not trying to be rude, but shouldn't you be happy that you're married to the person you love? Why be upset if things didn't go perfectly? It was a year ago. And who's to say that if you have a re-do wedding, things won't go wrong again? Will you keep trying until you think it's perfect? Re-do weddings are just never a good idea. The entire point of a wedding is to get married, if you are married, your wedding was a success. I think most people given the chance would re-do something about their wedding, but once you're married, the whole bride ship has sailed, and it's tacky to try to be a bride when you're already a wife.
If you want, have an anniversary party. You can still celebrate, get dressed up, have good food, dance, etc... But you won't be forcing people to sit through a fake ceremony. Or, wait a few years and do a vow renewal. You can still celebrate your love in many ways, without doing an entire wedding again.
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  #8 (permalink)
: Hey, I'm all for a church re-do if you get married in a courthouse or some other weird scenario, (you gotta do what you gotta do), but I don't agree with the re-do just because the first one wasn't perfect. Because nothing is ever perfect. Something is always going to go wrong. You'll always find something that could change or be improved on. Where/when would you stop? Why drive yourself nuts like that?

If you must, just package it as "I never even said vows" and line up a real minister and invite a few people to hear the vows. But leave it at that. The vows that were never said. Don't try to re-do the whole thing.
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  #9 (permalink)
: ALL re-do weddings are 'tacky', dear....they are obviously fake and attempts to relive a moment that can never be recaptured.

1) Forgot the music-so what? I had no music to get married to when I married the second time..you do not NEED a background sound track, this is not a movie or Broadway Musical.

2) Can't tell you how many times the rings have been forgotten.

3) Vows can be said at anytime...you do NOT need anyone's blessings or to do them publicly to make them special, romantic,meaningful, etc......vows do not make the marriage legal-the I do's and the paperwork & registration of the marriage does.

4) "Dream Weddings" are little girl fantasies.

What you are looking for is to re-create a perfect wedding experience....and it' won't work unless you can actually turn back time to a point where you once again are a genuine bride-ain't gonna happen.

Save money...plan a great romantic get-away. Say your vows to each other in some romantic, meaningful place/way and exchange your 'real' rings at that time. Create a real new memory....re-doing a past memory never ever works....and subjects you to ridicule, besides....

I am waiting for the new mother to decide that her birth experience wasn't perfect enough so she stages a fake labor & delivery for the experience or tries to stuff the kid back in for a re-do.....Uncle Ernie's funeral wasn't up to par? Then dig up the old coot, pass around the clothes pins for the noses and have a re-do wake.......didn't like the way your guy proposed? RE-DO!!! Re-do 'til he gets it 'right'....lets re-do operations, contracts, mail deliveries ( Um, Listen Mailman, re-do and next time skip the bills and junk mail)......the debt collector will STILL come after you...ridiculous.
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  #10 (permalink)
: Unfortunately there is not a way to re-do your wedding without it being tacky. I would just accept the fact that your wedding didn't go as planned and try to move on.
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