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  #4 (permalink)
: You don't. Things may have gone badly with the music, the rings, the recitation of vows, but these are the icing, not the cake. Bride and groom became husband and wife, and that was the cake, that is what made the occasion your wedding. It would be insulting to everyone who takes marriage seriously if husband and wife were to disregard the cake of being married and instead focus on the icing of nifty costumes, pageantry, and refreshments.

I suggest that you instead have a gala anniversary party with ballroom, catered meal, fancy cake, live music, hired limo, and a smashing new gown for you -- but not a wedding gown. This isn't a wedding or a "wedding redo" (gag) or a wedding anything. It's an anniversary party. Invitations should make no mention of vows or weddings, or it will indeed appear that your purpose is to collect gifts rather than to provide a delightful celebration for your friends and family.

Sometime during the party, perhaps when everyone is seated waiting for dinner to be served, the bandleader announces that you two will re-affirm your vows. This is a surprise to your guests.

Either standing at your places at the head table or posing at some other spot, you re-affirm, either with or without guidance (as in "repeat after me") from some third person. It's over in 5-10 minutes and dinner is served, the anniversary party continues.
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